The Murder at the Vicarage-25
The 
Murder at the Vicarage
Chapter Twenty - Five
I found it hard to shake off the impression left by the anonymous 
letter. Pitch soils. However, I gathered up the other three letters, glanced at my watch, 
and started out.
I wondered very much what this might be that had ※come to the 
knowledge§ of three ladies simultaneously. I took it to be the same piece of news. In 
this, I was to realice that my psychology was at fault.
I cannot pretend that my calls took me past the police station. My feet 
gravitated there of their own accord. I was anxious to know whether Inspector Slack had 
returned from Old Hall.
I found that he had and, further, that Miss Cram had returned with him. 
The fair Gladys was seated in the police station carrying off matters with a high hand. 
She denied absolutely having taken the suitcase to the woods.
※Just because one of these gossiping old cats has nothing better to 
do than look out of her window all night, you go and pitch upon me. She＊s been mistaken 
once, remember, when she said she saw me at the end of the lane on the afternoon of the 
murder, and if she was mistaken then, it daylight, how can she possibly have recognized me 
by moonlight?§
※Wicked, it is, the way these old ladies go on down here. Say 
anything, they will. And me asleep in my bed as innocent as can be. You ought to be 
ashamed of yourselves, the lot of you.§
※And supposing the landlady of the Blue Boar identifies the suitcase 
as yours, Miss Cram?§
※If she says anything of the kind, she＊s wrong. There＊s no name 
on it. Nearly everybody＊s got a suitcase like that. As for poor Doctor Stone, accusing 
him of being a common burglar! And he with a lot of letters after his name.§
※You refuse to give us any explanation, then, Miss Cram?§
※No refusing about it. You＊ve made a mistake, that＊s all. You and 
your meddlesome Marples. I won＊t say a word more 每 not without my solicitor present. I＊m 
going this minute 每 unless you＊re going to arrest me.§
For answer, the Inspector rose and opened the door for her, and, with a 
toss of the head, Miss Cram walked out.
※That＊s the line she takes,§ said Slack, coming back to his 
chair. ※Absolute denial. And, of course, the old lady may have been mistaken. No 
jury would believe you cold recognize anyone from that distance on a moonlit night. And of 
course, as I say, the old lady may have made a mistake.§
※She may,§ I said, ※but I don＊t think she did. Miss Marple is 
usually right. That＊s what makes her unpopular.§
The Inspector grinned.
※That＊s what Hurst says. Lord, these villages!§
※What about the silver, Inspector?§
※Seemed to be perfectly in order. Of course that meant one lot of the 
other must be a fake. There＊s a very good man in Much Benham, and authority on old 
silver. I＊ve phoned over to him and sent a car to fetch him. We＊ll soon know which is 
which. Either the burglary was an accomplished fact, or else it was only planned. Doesn＊t 
make a frightful lot of difference either way 每 I mean as far as we＊re concerned. 
Robbery＊s a small business compared with murder. These two aren＊t concerned with the 
murder. We＊ll maybe get a line on him through the girl 每 that＊s why I let her go 
without any more fuss.§
※I wondered,§ I said.
※A pity about Mr. Redding. It＊s not often you find a man who goes 
out of his way to oblige you.§
※I suppose not,§ I said smiling slightly.
※Women cause a lot of trouble,§ moralized the Inspector.
He sighed and then went on, somewhat to my surprise. ※Of course, 
there＊s Archer.§
※Oh!§ I said. ※You＊ve thought of him?§
※Why, naturally, sir, first thing. It didn＊t need any anonymous 
letters to put me on his track.§
※Anonymous letters,§ I said sharply. ※Did you get one, then?§
※That＊s nothing new, sir. We get a dozen a day, at least. Oh, yes, 
we were put wise to Archer. As though the police couldn＊t look out for themselves! 
Archer＊s been under suspicion from the first. The trouble of it is, he＊s got an alibi. 
Not that it amounts to anything, but it＊s awkward to get over.§
※What do you mean by its not amounting to anything?§ I asked.
※Well, it appears he was with a couple of pals all the afternoon. 
Not, as I say, that that counts much. Men like Archer and his pales would swear to 
anything. There＊s no believing a word they say. We know that. But the public 
doesn＊t, and the jury＊s taken from the public, more＊s the pity. They know nothing, 
and ten to one believe everything that＊s said in the witness box, no matter who it is 
that says it. And, of course, Archer himself will swear till he＊s black in the face that 
he didn＊t do it.§
※Not so obliging as Mr. Redding,§ I said with a smile.
※Not he,§ said the Inspector, making the remark as a plain 
statement of fact.
※It is natural, I suppose, to cling to life,§ I mused.
※You＊d be surprised if you knew the murderers that have got off 
through the soft 每 heartedness of the jury,§ said the Inspector gloomily.
※But do you really think that Archer did it?§ I asked.
It has struck me as curious all along that Inspector Slack never seems 
to have any personal views of his own on the murder. The easiness of difficulty of getting 
a conviction are the only points that seem to appeal to him.
※I＊d like to be a bit surer,§ he admitted. ※A fingerprint, now, 
or a footprint, or seen in the vicinity about the time of the crime. Can＊t risk 
arresting him without something of that kind. He＊s been seen round Mr. Redding＊s house 
once or twice, but he＊d say that was to speak to his mother. A decent body, she is. No, 
on the whole, I＊m for the lady. If I could only get definite proof of blackmail 每 but 
you can＊t get definite proof of anything in this crime! It＊s theory, theory, theory. 
It＊s a sad pity that there＊s not a single spinster lady living along your road, Mr. 
Clement, I bet she＊d have seen something if there had been.§
His words reminded me of my calls, and I took leave of him. It was 
about the solitary instance when I had seen him in a genial mood.
My first call was on Miss Hartnell. She must have been watching for me 
from the window, for before I had time to ring she had opened the front door and, clasping 
my hand firmly in hers, had let me over the threshold.
※So good of you to come. In here. More private.§
We entered a microscopic room, about the size of a hencoop. Miss 
Hartnell shut the door and, with an air of deep secrecy, waved me to a seat (there were 
only three). I perceived that she was enjoying herself.
※I＊m never one to beat about the bush,§ she said in her jolly 
voice, the latter slightly toned down to meet the requirements of the situation. ※You 
know how things go round in a village like this?§
※Unfortunately,§ I said, ※I do.§
※I agree with you. Nobody dislikes gossip more than I do. But there 
it is. I thought it may duty to tell the police inspector that I＊d called on Mrs. 
Lestrange the afternoon of the murder and that she was out. I don＊t expect to be thanked 
for doing my duty; I just do it. Ingratitude is what you meet with first and last in this 
life. Why, only yesterday that impudent Mr. Baker＃§
※Yes, yes,§ I said hoping to avert the usually tirade. ※Very sad, 
very sad. But you were saying.§
※The lower classes don＊t know who are their best friends,§ said 
Miss Hartnell. ※I always say a word in season when I＊m visiting. Not that I＊m ever 
thanked for it.§
※You were telling the Inspector about you call upon Mrs. Lestrange,§ 
I prompted.
※Exactly 每 and, to the way, he didn＊t thank me. Said he＊d ask 
for information when he wanted it 每 not those words exactly, but that was the spirit. 
There＊s a different class of men in the police force nowadays.§
※Very probably,§ I said. ※But you were going on to say something 
thing?§
※I decided that this time I wouldn＊t＊ go near any wretched. 
Inspector. After all, a clergyman is a gentleman 每 at least some are,§ she added.
I gathered that the qualification was not int4ended to include me.
※If I can help you in any way,§ I began.
※It＊s a matter of duty,§ said Miss Harnell and closed her moth 
with a snap. ※I don＊t want to have to say these things. No one likes it less. But duty 
is duty.§
I waited.
※I＊ve been given to understand,§ went on Miss Hartneel, turning 
rather red, ※that Mrs. Lestrange gives out that she was at home all the time 每 that 
she didn＊t answer the door because 每 well, because she didn＊t choose. Such airs and 
graces. I only called as a mater of duty, and to be treated like that!§
※She has been ill,§ I said mildly.
※Ill? Fiddlesticks. You＊re too unworldly, Mr. Clement. There＊s 
nothing the matter with that woman. Too ill to attend the inquest indeed! Medical 
certificate from Doctor Haydock! She can wind him round her little finger; everyone knows 
that. Well, where was I?§
I didn＊t quite know. It is difficult with Miss Hartnell to know where 
narrative ends and vituperation begins.
※Oh! About calling on her that afternoon. Well, it＊s fiddlesticks 
to say she was in the house. She wasn＊t, I know.§
※How can you possible know?§
Miss Hartnell＊s face turned a little redder. In someone less 
truculent, her demeanor might have been called embarrassed.
※I＊d knocked and rung,§ she explained ※Twice. If not three 
times. And it occurred to me suddenly that the bell might be out of order.§
She was, I was glad to note, unable to look me in the face when saying 
this. The same builder builds all our houses, and the bells he installs are always clearly 
audible when standing on the mat outside the front door. Both Miss Hartnell and I knew 
this perfectly well, but I suppose decencies have to be preserved.
※Yes?§ I murmured.
※I didn＊t want to push my card through the letter box. That would 
seem so rude, and whatever I am, I am never rude.§
She made this amazing statement without a tremor.
※So I thought I would just go round the house and 每 and tap on the 
windowpane,§ she continued unblushingly. ※I went all round the house and looked in at 
all the window, but there was no one in the house at all.§
I understood her perfectly. Taking advantage of the fact that the house 
was empty, Miss -Hartnell had given unbridled rein to her curiosity and had gone round the 
house, examining the garden and peering in at all the window to see as much as she could 
of the interior. She had chosen to tell her story tome, believing that I should be a more 
sympathetic and lenient audience than the police. The clergy are supposed to give the 
benefit of the doubt to their parishioners.
I made no comment on the situation. I merely asked a question.
※What time was this, Miss Hartnell?＊
※As far as I can remember,§ said Miss Hartnell, ※it must have 
been close on six o＊clock. I went straight home afterward, and I got in about then past 
six, and Mrs. Protheroe came in somewhere round about the half 每 hour, leaving Doctor 
Stone and Mr. Redding outside, and we talked about bulbs. And all the time the poor 
Colonel lying murdered. It＊s a sad world.§
※It is sometimes a rather unpleasant one,§ I said.
I rose.
※And that is all you have to tell me?§
※I just thought it might be important.§
※It might,§ I agreed.
And refusing to be drawn further, much to Miss Hartnell＊s 
disappointment, I took my leave.
Miss Wetherby, whom I visited next, received me in a kind of flutter.
※Dear Vicar, how truly kind. You＊ve had tea? Really, you won＊t? A 
cushion for your back? It is so kind of you to come round so promptly. Always willing to 
put yourself out for others.§
There was a good deal of this before we came to the point, and even 
then I was approached with a good deal of circumlocution.
※You must understand that I heard this one the best authority.§
In St. Mary Mead, the best authority is always somebody else＊s 
servant.
※You can＊t tell me who told you?§
※I promised, dear Mr. Clement. And I always think a promise should be 
a sacred thing.§
She looked very solemn.
※Shall we say a little bird told me? That Is safe, isn＊t it?§
I longed to say, ※It＊s damned silly.§ I rather wish I had. I 
should have liked to observe the effect on Miss Wetherby.
※Well, this little bird told that she saw a certain lady who shall be 
nameless.§
※Another kind of bird?§ I inquired.
To my great surprise Miss Wetherby went off into paroxysms of laughter 
and tapped me playfully on the arm saying, ※Oh! Vicar, you must not be so naughty.§
When she had recovered, she went on.
※A certain lady, and where do you think this certain lady was going? 
She turned into the Vicarage road, but before she did so, she looked up and down the road 
in a most peculiar way 每 to see if anyone she knew were noticing her, I imagine.§
※And the little bird?§ I inquired.
※Paying a visit to the fishmonger＊s 每 in the room over the shop.§
I now know where maids go on their days out. I know there is one place 
they never go if they can help 每 anywhere in the open air.
※And the time,§ continued Miss Wetherby, learning forward 
mysteriously, ※was just before six o＊clock.§
※On which day?§
Miss Wetherby gave a little scream.
※The day of the murder, of course, didn＊t I say so?§
※I inferred it,§ I replied. ※And the name of the lady?§
※Begins with an I,§ said Miss Wetherby nodding her head several 
times.
Feeling that I had got to the end of the information Miss Wetherby had 
to impart, I rose to my feet.
※You won＊t let the police cross 每 question me, will you?§ said 
Miss Wetherby pathetically, as she clasped my hand in both of hers. ※I do shrink from 
publicity. And to stand up in court!§
※In special cases,§ I said, ※they let witnesses sit down.§
And I escaped.
There was till Mrs. Price Ridley to see. That lady put me to my place 
at once.
※I will not be mixed up in any police 每 court business,§ she said 
firmly, after shaking my hand coldly. ※You understand that. On the other hand, having 
come across a circumstance which needs explaining, I think it should be brought to the 
notice of the authorities.§
※Does it concern Mrs. Lestrange?§ I asked.
※Why should it?§ demanded Mrs. Price Ridley coldly.
She had me at a disadvantage there.
※It＊s a very simple matter,§ she continued. ※My maid, Clara, 
was standing at the front gate; she went down there for a minute or two 每 she 
says to get a breath of fresh air. Most unlikely, I should say. Much more probable that 
she was looking out for the should say. Much more probable that she was looking out for 
the fishmonger＊s boy 每 if he calls himself a boy 每 impudent young jackanapes, thinks 
because he＊s seventeen he can joke with all the girls. Anyway, as I say, she was 
standing at the gate and she heard a sneeze.§
※Yes,§ I said waiting for more.
※That＊s all. I tell you she heard a sneeze. And don＊t start 
telling me I＊m not so young as I once was and may have made a mistake, because it was 
Clara who heard it and she＊s only nineteen.§
※But,§ I said, ※why shouldn＊t she have heard a sneeze?§
Mrs. Price Ridley looked at me in obvious pity for my poorness of 
intellect.
※She heard a sneeze on the day of the murder at the time when there 
was no one in your house. Doubtless the murderer was concealed in the bushes waiting his 
opportunity. What you have to look for is a man with a cold in his head.§
※Or a sufferer from hay fever,§ I suggested. ※But as a matter of 
fact, Mrs. Price Ridley, I think that mystery has a very easy solution. Our maid, Mary, 
has been suffering from a severe cold in the head. In fact, her sniffing has tried us very 
much lately. It must have been her sneeze your maid heard.§
※It was a man＊s sneeze,§ said Mrs. Price Ridley firmly. ※And 
you couldn＊t hear your maid sneeze in your kitchen from our gate.§
※You couldn＊t hear anyone sneezing in the study from your gate,§ 
I said. ※Or at lest I very much doubt it.§
※I said the man might have been concealed in the shrubbery,§ said 
Mrs. Price Ridley. ※Doubtless when Clara had gone in, he effected an entrance by the 
front door.§
※Well, of course, that＊s possible,§ I said.
I tried not to make my voice consciously soothing, but I must have 
failed, for Mrs. Price Ridley glared at me suddenly.
※I am accustomed not to be listened to, but I might mention also that 
to leave a tennis racket carelessly flung down on the grass without a press completely 
ruins it. And tennis rackets are very expensive nowadays.§
There did not seem to be rhyme or reason in this flank attack. It 
bewildered me utterly.
※But perhaps you don＊t agree,§ said Mrs. Price Ridley.
※Oh! I do 每 certainly.§
※I am glad. Well, that is all I have to say. I wash my hands of the 
whole affair.§
She leaned back and closed her eyes like one weary of this world. I 
thanked her and said good 每 by.
On the doorstep, I ventured to ask Clara about her mistress＊s 
statement.
※It＊s quite true, sir, I heard a sneeze. And it wasn＊t an 
ordinary sneeze 每 not by any means.§
Nothing about a crime is ever ordinary. The shot was not an ordinary 
kind of shot. The sneeze was not a usual kind of sneeze. It was, I presume, a special 
murderer＊s sneeze. I asked the girl what time this had been, but she was very vague 每 
sometime between a quarter and half past six she thought. Anyway, ※It was before the 
mistress had the telephone call and was took bad.§
I asked her if she had heard a shot of any kind. And she said the shots 
had been something awful. After that, I placed very little credence in her statements.
I was just turning in at my own gate when I decided to pay a friend a 
visit.
Glancing at my watch, I saw that I had just time for it before taking 
Evensong. I went down the road to Haydock＊s house. He came out on the doorstep to meet 
me.
I noticed afresh how worried and haggard he looked. This business 
seemed to have aged him out of all knowledge.
※I＊m glad to see you,§ he said. ※What＊s the news?§
I told him the latest Stone development.
※A high 每 class thief,§ he commented. ※Well, that explains a 
lot of things. He＊d read up his subject, but he made slips from time to time to me. 
Protheroe must have caught him out once. You remember the row they had. What do you think 
about the girl? Is she in it, too?§
※Opinion as to that is undecided,§ I said. ※For my own part, I 
think the girl is all right. She＊s such a prize idiot,§ I added.
※Oh! I wouldn＊t say that. She＊s rather shred, is Miss Gladys 
Cram. A remarkably healthy specimen. Not likely to trouble members of my profession.§
I told him that I was worried about Hawes, and that I was anxious that 
he should go away for a real rest and change.
Something evasive came into his manner when I said this. His answer did 
not ring quite true.
※Yes,§ he said slowly. ※I suppose that would be the best thing. 
Poor chap. Poor chap.§
※I thought you didn＊t like him.§
※I don＊t 每 not much. But I＊m sorry for a lot of people I don＊t 
like.§ He added after a minute or two, ※I＊m even sorry for Protheroe. Poor fellow 
每 nobody ever liked him much. Too full of his own rectitude and too self 每 assertive. 
It＊s an unlovable mixture. He was always th4e same 每 even as a young man.§
※I didn＊t know you knew him then?§
※Oh, yes. When he lived in Westmoreland, I had a practice not far 
away. That＊s a long time ago now. Nearly twenty years.§
I sighed. Twenty years ago Griselda was vie years old. Time is an odd 
thing.
※Is that all you came to say to me, Clement?§
I looked up with a start. Haydock was watching me with keen eyes.
※There＊s something else, isn＊t there?§ he said.
I nodded.
I had been uncertain whether to speak or not when I came in, but now I 
decided to do so. I like Haydock as well as any man I know. He is a splendid fellow in 
every way. I felt that what I had to tell might be useful to him.
I recited my interviews with Miss Hartnell and Miss Wetherby.
He was silent for a long time after I＊d spoken.
※It＊s quite true, Clement,§ he said at last. ※I＊ve been 
trying to shield Mrs. Lestrange from any inconvenience that I could. As a matter of fact, 
she＊s an old friend. But that＊s not my only reason. That medical certificate of mine 
isn＊t the put up job you all think it was.§
He paused and then said gravely, ※This is between you and me, 
Clement. Mrs. Lestrange is doomed.§
※What?§
※She＊s a dying woman. I give her a month at longest. Do you wonder 
that I want to keep her from being badgered and questioned?§
He went on. ※When she turned into this road that evening, it was here 
she came 每 to this house.§
※You haven＊t said so before.§
※I didn＊t want to create talk. Six to seven isn＊t my time for 
seeing patients, and everyone knows that. But you can take my word for it that she was 
here.§
※She wasn＊t here when I came for you, though. I mean when we 
discovered the body.§
※No,§ he seemed perturbed. ※She＊d left 每 to keep an 
appointment.§
※In what direction was the appointment? In her own house?§
※I don＊t know, Clement. On my honor, I don＊t know.§
I believed him, but＃
※And supposing an innocent man is hanged?§ I said.
He shook his head.
※No,§ he said. ※No one will be hanged for the murder of Colonel 
Protheroe. You can take my word for that.§
But that is just what I could not do. And yet the certainty in his 
voice was very great.
※No one will be hanged,§ he repeated.
※This man, Archer＃§
He made an impatient movement.
※Hasn＊t got brains enough to wipe his fingerprints off the pistol.§
※Perhaps not,§ I said dubiously.
Then I remembered something, and taking the little brownish crystal I 
had found in the wood from my pocket I held it out to him and asked him what it was.
※H＊m.§ He hesitated. ※Looks like picric acid. Where did you 
find it?§
※That,§ I replied, ※is Sherlock Holmes＊s secret.§
He smiled.
※What is picric acid?§
※Well, it＊s an explosive.§
※Yes, I know that, but it＊s not another use, hasn＊t it?§
He nodded.
※It＊s used medically 每 in solution for burns. Wonderful stuff.§
I held out my hand, and rather reluctantly he handed it back to me.
※It＊s of no consequence probably,§ I said, ※But I found it in 
rather an unusual place.§
※You won＊t tell me where?§
Rather childishly, I wouldn＊t. He had his secrets. Well, I would have 
mine. I was a little hurt that he had not confided in me more fully.
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