The Murder at the Vicarage-2
The 
Murder at the Vicarage
Chapter Two
Griselda is a very irritating woman. On leaving the luncheon table, 
I had felt myself to be in a good mood for preparing a really forceful address for the 
Church of England Men＊s Society. Now I felt restless and disturbed.
Just when I was really settling down to it, Lettice Protheroe drifted 
in.
I use the word drifted advisedly. I have read novels in which 
young people are described as bursting with energy 每 joie de vivre, the 
magnificent vitality of youth. Personally, al the young people I come across have the air 
of amiable wraiths.
Lettice was particularly wraithlike this afternoon. She is a pretty 
girl, very tall and fair and completely vague. She drifted through the French window, 
absently pulled off the yellow beret she was wearing, and murmured vaguely with a kind of 
faraway surprise.
※Oh! It＊s you.§
There is a path from Old Hall through the woods which comes out by our 
garden gate, so that most people coming from there come in at that gate and up to the 
study window instead of going a long way round by the road and coming to the front door. I 
was not surprised at Lettice coming in this way, but I did a little resent her attitude.
If you come to a Vicarage, you ought to be prepared to find a Vicar.
She came in and collapsed in a crumpled heap in one of my big 
armchairs. She plucked aimlessly at her hair, staring at the ceiling. 
※Is Dennis anywhere about?§
※I haven＊t seen him since lunch. I understood he was going to play 
tennis at your place.§
※Oh!§ said Lettice. ※I hope he isn＊t. He won＊t find anybody 
there.§
※He said you＊d asked him.§
※I believe I did. Only that was Friday. And today＊s Tuesday.§
※It＊s Wednesday,§ I said.
※Oh! How dreadful,§ said Lettice. ※That means that I＊ve 
forgotten to go to lunch with some people for the third time.§
Fortunately it didn＊t seem to worry her much.
※Is Griselda anywhere about?§
※I expect you＊ll find her in the studio in the garden 每 sitting 
to Lawrence Redding.§
※There＊s been quite a shemozzle about him,§ said Lettice. ※With 
Father, you know. Father＊s dreadful.§
※What was the she 每 whatever it was, about?§ I inquired.
※About his painting me. Father found out about it. Why shouldn＊t I 
be painted in my bathing suit? If I go on a beach in it, why shouldn＊t I be painted in 
it?§
Lettice paused and then went on.
※It＊s really absurd 每 Father forbidding a young man the house. Of 
course, Lawrence and I simply shriek about it. I shall come and be done here in your 
studio.§
※No, my dear,§ I said. ※Not if your father forbids it.§
※Oh, dear,§ said Lettice, sighing. ※How tiresome everyone is. I 
fell shattered. Definitely. If only I had some money I＊d go away, but without it I can＊t. 
If only Father would be decent and die, I should be all right.§
※You must not say things like that, Lettice.§
※Well, if he doesn＊t want me to want him to die, he shouldn＊t be 
so horrible over money. I don＊t wonder Mother left him. Do you know for years I believed 
she was dead. What sort of a young man did she run away with? Was he nice?§
※It was before your father came to live here.§
※I wonder what＊s become of her? I expect Anne will have an affair 
with someone soon. Anne hates me 每 she＊s quite decent to me, but she hates me. She＊s 
getting old and she doesn＊t like it. That＊s the age you break out, you know.§
I wonder if Lettice was going to spend the entire afternoon in my 
study.
※You haven＊t seen my Gramophone records, have you?§ she asked.
※No.§
※How tiresome. I know I＊ve left them somewhere. And I＊ve lost the 
dog. And my wrist watch is somewhere, only it doesn＊t much matter because it won＊t go. 
Oh, dear, I am so sleepy. I can＊t think why, because I didn＊t get up till eleven. But 
life＊s very shattering, don＊t you think? Oh, dear, I must go. I＊m going to see 
Doctor Stone＊s barrow at three o＊clock.§
I glanced at the clock and remarked that it was now five and twenty to 
four.
※Oh, is it? How dreadful if they＊ve waited or it they＊ve gone 
without me. I suppose I＊d better go down and do something about it.§
She got up and drifted out again murmuring over her shoulder, ※You＊ll 
tell Dennis, won＊t you?§
I said yes mechanically, only realizing too late that I had no idea 
what it was I was to tell Dennis. But I reflected that in all probability it did not 
matter. I fell t cogitating on the subject of Dr. Stone, a well 每 known archaeologist 
who had recently come to stay at the Blue Boar, while he superintended that excavation of 
a barrow situated on Colonel Protheroe＊s property. There had already been several 
disputes between him and the Colonel. I was amused at his appointment to take Lettice to 
see the operations.
It occurred to me that Lettice Protheroe was something of a minx. I 
wondered how she would get on with the archaeologist＊s secretary, Miss Cram. Miss Cram 
is a healthy young woman of twenty-five, noisy in manner, with a high color, fine animal 
spirits, and a mouth that always seems to have more than its full share of teeth.
Village opinion is divided as to whether she is no better than she 
should be or else a young woman of iron virtue who purpose to become Mrs. Stone at an 
early opportunity. She is in every way a great contrast to Lettice. 
I could imagine that the state of things at Old Hall might not be too 
happy. Colonel Protheroe had married again some five years previously. The second Mrs. 
Protheroe was a remarkably handsome woman in a rather unusual style. I had always guessed 
that the relations between her and her stepdaughter were not too happy.
I had one more interruption. This time it was my curate, Hawes. He 
wanted to know the details of my interview with Protheroe. I told him that the Colonel had 
deplored his ※Romish tendencies,§ but that the real purpose of his visit had been on 
quite another matter. At the same time I entered a protest of my own and told him plainly 
that he must conform to my ruling. On the whole, he took my remarks very well.
I felt rather remorseful, when he had gone, for not liking him better. 
These irrational likes and dislikes that one takes to people are, I am sure, very 
unchristian.
With a sigh I realized that the hands of the clock on my writing table 
pointed to a quarter to five, a sign that it was really half past four, and I made my way 
to the drawing 每 room.
Four of my parishioners were assembled there with teacups. Griselda sat 
behind the tea table trying to look natural in her environment, but only succeeding in 
looking more out of place than usual.
I shook hands all round and sat down between Miss Marple and Miss 
Wetherby.
Miss Marple is a white 每 haired old lady with a gentle, appealing 
manner 每 Miss Wetherby is a mixture of vinegar and gush. Of the two Miss Marple is much 
the more dangerous.
※We were just talking,§ said Griselda in a honey 每 sweet voice, 
※about Doctor Stone and Miss Cram.§
A ribald rhyme concocted by Dennis shot through my head. Miss Cram 
doesn＊t give a damn. I had a sudden yearning to say it out loud and observe the 
effect, but fortunately I refrained.
Miss Wetherby said tersely, ※No nice girl would do it,§ and shurt 
her thin lips disapprovingly.
※Do what?§ I inquired.
※Be a secretary to an unmarried man,§ said Miss Wetherby in a 
horrified tone.
※Oh, my dear,§ said Miss Marple. ※I think married ones are the 
worst. Remember poor Mollie Carter.§
※Married men living apart from their wives are, of course, notorious,§ 
said Miss Wetherby.
※And even some of the ones living with their wives,§ murmured Miss 
Marple. ※I remember＃§
I interrupted these unsavory reminiscences.
※But surely,§ I said, ※in these days a girl can take a post in 
just the same way as a man does.§
※To come away to the country? And stay at the same hotel?§ said 
Mrs. Price Ridley in a severe voice.
Miss Wetherby murmured to Miss Marple in a low voice, ※And all the 
bedrooms on the same floor.§
They exchanged glances.
Miss Hartnell, who is weather 每 beaten and jolly and much dreaded by 
the poor, observed in a loud, hearty voice, ※the poor man will be caught before he knows 
where he is. He＊s as innocent as a babe unborn, you can see that.§
Curious what urns of phrase we employ. None of the ladies present would 
have dreamed of alluding to an actual baby till it was safely in the cradle, visible to 
all.
※Disgusting, I call it,§ continues Miss Hartnell with her usual 
tactlessness. ※The man must be at least twenty 每 five years older than she is.§
Three female voices rose at once making disconnected remarks about the 
Choir Boy＊s Outing, the regrettable incident at the last Mothers＊ Meeting, and the 
drafts in the church. Miss Marple twinkled at Griselda.
※Don＊t you think,§ said my wife, ※that Miss Cram may just like 
having an interesting job, and that she considers Doctor Stone just as an employer?§
There was a silence. Evidently none of the four ladies agreed. Miss 
Marple broke and silence by patting Griselda on the arm.
※My dear,§ she said, ※you are very young. The young have such 
innocent minds.§
Griselda said indignantly that she hadn＊t got at all an innocent 
mind.
※Naturally,§ said Miss Marple, unheeding of the protest, ※you 
think the best of everyone.§
※Do you really think she wants to marry that bald 每 headed, dull 
man?§
※I understand he is quite well off,§ said Miss Marple. ※Rather a 
violent temper, I＊m afraid. He had quite a serious quarrel with Colonel Protheroe the 
other day.§
Everyone learned forward interestedly.
※Colonel Protheroe accused him of being an ignoramus.§
※How like Colonel Protheroe, and how absurd, ※said Mrs. Price 
Ridley.
※Very like Colonel Protheroe, but I don＊t know about it being 
absurd,§ said Miss Marple. ※You remember that woman who came down here and said she 
represented Welfare, and after taking subscriptions she was never heard of again, and 
proved to have nothing whatever to do with Welfare. One is so inclined to be trusting and 
take people at their own valuation.§
I should never have dreamed of describing Miss Marple as trusting.
※There＊s been some fuss about that young artist, Mr. Redding, hasn＊t 
there?§ asked Miss Wetherby.
Miss Marple nodded.
※Colonel Protheroe turned him out of the house. It appears he was 
painting Lettice in her bathing suit.§
Suitable sensation!
※I always thought there was something between them,§ said Mrs. 
Price Ridley. ※That young fellow is always mouching off up there. Pity the girl hasn＊t 
got a mother. A stepmother is never the same thing.§
※I daresay Mrs. Protheroe does her best,§ said Miss Hartnell.
※Girls are so sly,§ deplored Mrs. Price Ridley.
※Quite a remance, isn＊t it?§ said the softer 每 hearted Miss 
Wetherby. ※He＊s a very good 每 looking young fellow.§
※But loose,§ said Miss Hartnell. ※Bound to be. An artist! Paris! 
Models! The Altogether!§
※Painting her in her bathing suit,§ said Mrs. Price Ridley. ※Not 
quite nice.§
※He＊s painting me, too,§ said Griselda.
※But not in your bathing suit, dear,§ said Miss Marple.
※It might be worse,§ said Griselda solemnly.
※Naughty girl,§ said Miss Hartnell, taking the joke broad 每 
mindedly. Everybody else looked slightly shocked.
※Did dear Lettice tell you of the trouble?§ asked Miss Marple of 
me.
※Tell me?§
※Yes. I saw her pass through the garden and go round to the study 
window.§
Miss Marple always sees everything. Gardening is as good as a smoke 
screen, and the habit of observing birds through powerful glasses can always be turned to 
account.
※She mentioned it, yes,§ I admitted.
※Mr. Hawes looked worried,§ said Miss Marple. ※I hope he hasn＊t 
been working too hard.§
※Oh!§ cried Miss Wetherby excitedly. ※I quite forgot. I knew I 
had some news for you. I saw Doctor Haydock coming out of Mrs. Lestrange＊s cottage.§
Everyone looked at each other.
※Perhaps she＊s ill,§ suggested Mrs. Price Ridley.
※It must have been very sudden, if so,§ said Miss Hartnell. ※For 
I saw her walking round her garden at three o＊clock this afternoon, and she seemed in 
perfect health.§
※She and Doctor Haydock must be old acquaintances,§ said Mrs. Price 
Ridley. ※He＊s been very quiet about it.§
※It＊s curious,§ said Miss Wetherby, ※that he＊s never mentioned 
it.§
※As a matter of fact＃§ said Griselda in a low, mysterious voice, 
and stopped.
Everyone leaned forward excitedly.
※I happen to know,§ said Griselda impressively. ※Her 
husband was missionary. Terrible story. He was eaten, you know. Actually 
eaten. And she was forced to become the chief＊s head wife. Doctor Haydock was with an 
expedition and rescued her.§
For a moment excitement was rife, then Miss Marple said reproachfully, 
but with a smile, ※Naughty girl!§
She tapped Griselda reprovingly on the arm.
※Very unwise thing to do, my dear. If you make up these things, 
people are quite likely to believe them. And sometimes that lead to complications.§
A distinct frost had come over the assembly. Two of the ladies rose to 
take their departure.
※I wonder if there is anything between young Lawrence Redding and 
Lettice Protherioe,§ said Miss Wetherby. ※It certainly looks like it. What do you 
think, Miss Marple?§
Miss Marple seemed thoughtful.
※I shouldn＊t have said so myself. Not Lettice. Quite 
another person, I should have said.§
※But Colonel Protheroe must have thought＃§
※He has always stuck me as rather a stupid man,§ said Miss Marple. 
※The kind of man who gets the wrong idea into his head and is obstinate about it. Do you 
remember Joe Bucknell who used to keep the Blue Boar? Such a to 每 do about this daughter 
carrying on with young Bailey. And all the time it was that minx of a wife of his.§
She was looking full at Griselda as she spoke, and I suddenly felt a 
wild surge of anger.
※Don＊t you think, Miss Marple,§ I said, ※that we＊re all 
inclined to let our tongues run away with us too much? Charity thinketh no evil, you know. 
Inestimable harm may be done by the foolish wagging of tongues in ill 每 natured gossip.§
※Dear Vicar,§ said Miss Marple, ※you are so unworldly. I＊m 
afraid that, observing human nature for as long as I have done, one gets not to expect 
very much from it. I daresay idle tittle 每 tat- tle is very wrong and unkind, but it is 
so often true, isn＊t it?§
That last Parthian shot went home.
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